


Slenderman (Eggs and Ham)

by the_genderman



Category: Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss, Slenderman Computer Games
Genre: Art, Crack, Enemies to Lovers, Illustrations, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other, Parody, Pre-Slash, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26807701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: What if the Slenderman just wanted someone to hold his hand?An extremely cracky parody that mashes together the Slenderman computer games and Dr. Seuss.
Relationships: Slenderman/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Slenderman (Eggs and Ham)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2012, I found it and decided, heck, it counts as fanfic, yes?

That Slenderman!  
That Slenderman!  
I do not like that Slenderman!

Do you like  
My grasping hands?  
I do not like them, Slenderman.  
I do not like  
Your grasping hands.

Would you like them  
here or there?

I would not like them  
here or there.  
I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like  
your grasping hands.  
I do not like them, Slenderman.

Would you like them in mansion’s halls?  
Would you like them within school walls?  
I do not like them  
in mansion’s halls.  
I do not like them  
within school walls.  
I do not like them  
here or there.  
I do not like them  
anywhere.  
I do not like  
your grasping hands.  
I do not like them,  
Slenderman.

Would you hold them  
in a box?  
Would you hold them  
By the rocks?

Not in a box.  
Not by the rocks.  
Nor mansion’s halls.  
Nor in school walls.  
I would not hold them  
here or there.  
I would not hold them anywhere.  
I would not hold your grasping hands.  
I do not like them, Slenderman.  
Would you? Could you? Among the trees?  
Touch them! Touch them! Here they be.

I would not, could not, among the trees.

You may like them. You will see.  
Do they make you ill at ease?

I would not, could not among the trees.  
They do make me ill at ease! Why will you not let me be?

I do not like them in a box.  
I do not like them by the rocks.  
I do not like them in mansion’s halls.  
I do not like them within school walls.  
I do not like them here or there.  
I do not like them anywhere.  
I do not like your grasping hands.  
I do not like them, Slenderman.

A truck! A truck!  
A truck! A truck!  
Could you, would you,  
in a truck?

Not in a truck! Not in the trees!  
They do make me ill at ease! Please, sir! Let me be!

I would not, could not, in a box.  
I could not, would not, by the rocks.  
I will not hold them within school walls.  
I will not hold them in mansion’s halls.  
I will not hold them here or there.  
I will not hold them anywhere.  
I do not like your grasping hands.  
I do not like them, Slenderman.

Say! In the dark?  
Here in the dark!  
Would you, could you,  
in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the muck?

I would not, could not, in the muck.  
Not in the dark. Not in a truck.  
I’m ill at ease among the trees.  
I do not like them, sir, you see.  
Not in mansion’s halls. Not in a box.  
Not within school walls. Not by the rocks.  
I will not touch them here or there.  
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like  
my grasping hands?  
I do not like them,  
Slenderman.

Could you, would you,  
with a note?

I would not, could not,  
with a note!

Would you, could you,  
on a boat?

I could not, would not,  
on a boat.  
I will not, will not,  
with a note.  
I will not hold them in the muck.  
I will not hold them in a truck.  
Not in the dark! Not in the trees!  
I’m ill at ease! You let me be!  
I do not like them in a box.  
I do not like them by the rocks.  
I will not hold them in mansion’s halls.  
I do not like them within school walls.  
I do not like them here or there.  
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like your grasping hands!  
I do not like them, Slenderman.

You do not like them. So you say.  
Touch them! Touch them! And you may.  
Touch them and you may, I say.

Sir! If you will let me be,  
I will touch them. You will see.

Say! I like your grasping hands!  
I do! I like them, Slenderman!  
And I would hold them in a boat.  
And I would hold them with a note...

And I will hold them in the muck.  
And in the dark. And on a truck.  
Put me at ease among the trees.  
They are so strong, so strong, you see!

So I will hold them in a box.  
And I will hold them by the rocks.  
And I will hold them in mansion’s halls.  
And I will hold them within school walls.  
And I will hold them here and there.  
Say! I will hold them ANYWHERE!

I do so like  
your grasping hands!  
Thank you!  
Thank you, Slenderman!


End file.
